IS IT LUST OR LOVE? (Part 2)

JAGAD GURU: Let me cite an example here from an article I recently read. Somebody wrote Dr. Ruth (a popular American sex counselor), "My boyfriend and I were having good sex before we moved in together. Now my boyfriend gratifies himself regularly and pores over porno magazines all the time. I think I'm competing with those naked babes in the pictures and losing because he nearly always turns down my advances. What am I going to do?"

The point is that the man is now trying to satisfy himself and the girlfriend no longer matters to him. Ever since they lived together, his whole illusion was ruined. He now knows that she has halitosis, uses perfumes to cover body odors, goes to the toilet, and so forth. He can't get into the sex trip with her anymore. He can enjoy himself through the magazines and all that stuff so he doesn't need her. He doesn't care about her anymore. Previously, he wanted her but now she's getting in the way and he doesn't want to get involved with her.

AUDIENCE: What about the girl? What is her situation?

JAGAD GURU: She's also interested in her sexual satisfaction. She complains, "Hey man, what about my sexual pleasure? You’re not giving it to me anymore. I come to you asking to be satisfied sexually and you're not into doing it." She's concerned about her sensual pleasure, too.

AUDIENCE: What does Dr. Ruth, the modern sex counselor, advise for this type of a problem?

JAGAD GURU: She writes back, "Hey, why do you stay with a man like that? Does he pay the rent? That's not enough!"

The whole thing revolves around lust here. The whole angle is business: "What do you give me if I give you this? What do I get and what do I give in return? Of course, we have to balance the two." That's the nature of lust—a business relationship.

AUDIENCE: Isn't love like that too?

JAGAD GURU: No, love isn't like that. Love is satisfaction in the love itself. If I love someone, that satisfies me as the end in itself. There's a saying: "It's better to give than to receive." And it's only possible to be happy giving rather than receiving if you are loving. Love is giving; lust is taking.

The difference between lust and love is that love is satisfying and lust is simply an irritant. Lust is an itch for union but when you experience that union, it doesn't satisfy you. It just agitates you more so the itch gets greater.